Sorrow, with all the sweet and sourness,
warmth and coldness of a sad song,
but I don't know if it has the stars.
"You're beautiful." "Lies!"
But why do I let it eat me away?
Why is this beauty complex higher than the mountains?
It's the failing battle to get rid of it
that's really the worse part.
So many people I couldn't do it for..........
Maybe I haven't gotten enough sunlight,
or did enough exercise,
but maybe this feeling is an unavoidable truth
that comes to me every once and a while.
"You're beautiful." "No I'm not; I don't see it!!!"
"There's a lot of things you don't see."
Paper magazines of people I'll never be;
delusions in my head of people I'll never be;
it can be hard to see clearly through it all,
like a path with millions of forks in it.
It's unlikely this poem will have a happy ending,
but.....I want a smile on my face...I don't want to "accept" who I am;
I sometimes think the word "accept"(depending on the situation)
carries pain with it.
"You are NOT beautiful." "Really?"
"What do you mean Really? I thought you thought weren't beautiful??"
But when I think about where I landed from all my falls;
I feel they're good places with good and interesting thoughts I had
like the meaningful day outside; tears of light
in the garden, as the beautiful, green trees
surround my fragile and somewhat damaged heart.
With all of that do I have the right to say I'm not beautiful?!!
Just hold on tight!! This is a moment that I really have to be strong.
You're capable of winning this battle...
But lightning strikes!!!
And in this case it does strike twice in the same place!!!
Regret falls as if raining from the coldest cloud;
so many crows form in from above that we think it's the night sky.
No happily ever after;
all I can say though, like I said previously,
I want to have a smile on my face.
I also want to see my dreams--the real ones--come true on a sunny day.
"You're beautiful." "...(takes a deep breath) Thank you."