Listening to the words "Where [pause] where does it come from?"
It crashes on me like an ocean blue, heavy breeze.
There was a reason I drank this coffee,
and didn't go to bed, and let this day end unfulfilled  
only to promise on the new day that I'll do better.
In this writing, deception comes to me saying I've done enough,
but I haven't! I probably never have!
There is a voice that needs to scream out,
and hands that need to be balled into fists,
though I don't know what they're supposed to punch.
Ah, my hand hurts from this writing,
just like I always wanted;
after all, I've said too many times to write until it hurts,
but how many times have I really meant that?
I need to act, lest I learn the hard way
that you've only got one life;
everyday I must be one step closer to my own promise land.
It's like everyday I get a glimpse―a small glimpse―
of what waits for me, and now I realize
that it waits for me, not vise versa;
the light at the end doesn't come to you; you walk to it;
what ever truly comes to you without you moving an inch?
I got up today gleaming with the light of morning;
I don't know what I said, but I thought to myself
that this is going to be a good day;
with my hand on my heart, I tried to be strong,
but――wait no! Today wasn't worthless;
today wasn't enough either, but there was light;
there was beauty, and something to behold.
Again not worthless, not enough.
I daydreamed as always;
daydreams of the other side,
daydreams that never go beyond that mind of mine,
and into reality;
I know I shouldn't, but they fool me everytime
with their warmth;
I run, but they catch me,
and if I ever bothered to hide they'd find me for sure.
But whatever made me drink that coffee is a friend;
I can be saved yet; I need to let it in,
and when those daydreams come it will unmask them
for the waste of time and life it really is.
I need to move on; change must happen.
Oh so many changes to lift us up;
to put us back in the fight;
to put our hands on the mountain we can someday lift.
I've been afraid to be strong; is it all because of laziness,
or is there an element of something more?
The truth is I have so many reasons/people to be strong for,
a question I wish weren't here is that do I let them down when I don't?
Must go higher―higher? Was I ever high to begin with?
Yes I was, just not high enough.
I can't just sit back and let this world revolve without me in it,
Higher! Higher! Higher! Above and beyond!!
I dream of touching those stars one day;
I must remind myself to make sure those stars have true meaning in them.
Could this be the start or the end or just another wave
in the polluted sea of nothing?

It's you I want, but spring I see,
I'm only with you in my dreams.
I've wished on every falling star,
that we don't have to be so far.
If you're the angel I think I see,
then take your wings and fly to me.

You must know the love for you I keep.

There's a light inside your heart,
I won't deny is a brilliant spark.
Your honest smile and sweet embrace,
I won't leave out your gorgeous face.
In open skies we have it all;
we'll stay right here till orchids fall.

You must know the love for you I keep.

A dove white as winter snow,
a rose in the bush that's first to grow.
When we meet, my dreams are awoken;
no word of love will go unspoken.
And even when the world has turned gray,
in your arms nothing can spoil my day.

My love for you fuels burning fires,
this is bigger than a wish and deeper than desires.

You must know the love for you I keep.

The open blue sky drops sunshine beams,
warming our souls and caressing our dreams.
The sky will always speak the truth,
the sky will always be of youth.

Summer weather oh so fair,
you're smiling beautifully without a care,
shall I say it do I dare?
Yes! I sense love is in the air.

Our hearts so close yet bodies so far,
still my love is for you wherever you are.
And when I finally meet up with you,
my shooting star wish will have come true.

A loving Heaven with holy light,
gave us this love so we may take flight.
And I'm not surprised to see your wings,
or any present to you God brings,
for I've known it the moment my eyes saw yours,
you have a key to Heavens doors.

My heart lay resting in you're hands
I feel that's where it belongs,
for now and for everlasting
may this love stay strong.

My smile, my heart, my dreams and intentions,
today, with new eyes, I see the shadows in the back of them all.
Those shadows are made out of greed and deception;
I guess they entered in through the open doors of my imagination.
And how is it that despite all the steps you think you took
you've never truly gone anywhere?

No one ever said greed and deception comes in hideous form.
For me, greed came looking like giving,
and deception came looking like a heart of gold.

They were in me, and thinking they were pure
I smiled with them,
I took them to bed with me,
I believed in them and wanted them to shape my life.

Suicide, going down the path of hell, obsession with oneself,
how is it you can do all those things without realizing?

Just know for everything that's inside, there's a way for greed and deception to poison it.
And as long as it's there, the quest to find yourself cannot be walked.

Never let greed and deception enter or you'll miss your star;
I would catch every one in the night sky had it not been for them.

But still, it's not so large,
but shards of truth and generosity, scattered randomly about in me, remain,
and just those shards are all I need.

Waking up in a twilight scene
won't be long for sun to intervene.
Her face as wet as morning dew,
she's so beautiful yet never knew.

Pity and regret make haven in her mind,
from a past that she can't just toss back behind.

Even the songbirds couldn't spare her a whistle,
and every rose she picked up seems to bear a thistle

She now sits in the yard
and tries very hard,
to keep it together
in chilled fall weather.

Sometimes things empower her, and the darkness screams,
wanting to snatch her soul from her and devoid her of dreams.

Yet, realizing in time light shall break out
she faces her fears and erases her doubt.
Knowing Heaven will put her heart back in its place,
she basks in the sunlight that falls on her face.

To Heaven she thankfully gave a bow,
it's not what she did then, but what she does now.
And what better truth is there by far,
than to know that you can come as you are!

She's been weak for so long, now she's ready for strength,
she will walk her path regardless of length.

As sure as flowers await in spring
with smiles deep in their petals,
her soul will one day merrily
skip down on Heavens meadows.

The truth may be painful,
the truth may bring sorrow,
tears may be shed,
and hearts may be hollow.
But it will carry you, it's a healing hand,
though in pain you have fallen,
with purpose you'll stand.
You'll see the path you were truly meant to take,
at that point you'll be free of all things fake.
You'll give birth to miracles,
you'll see gold and silver things,
the nightingale was once crippled,
but the truth healed its wings.

That's what I found....

The most meaning one can have in a night,
the sky was dark but around her was light,
the light of truth that The Kingdom had sent,
to ensure that her future was very well spent.

She had it so easy,
being lost in another place,
she lived so much a lie
she didn't recognize her own face.
That's why this night had come to pass,
she saw herself in truth at last.

Her heart in misery,
lamentation with regrets,
and afraid of what will happen when the new day sets.

The sky not big enough to hold her tears,
crying all night but nobody hears,
to everyone else her pain was not known,
it's sad to think she went through this alone.
Thoughts of worthlessness in her head to dwell,
was she really tucked in bed or deep inside hell.

She didn't know The Kingdom was by her side,
or that they picked up every tear she cried.

But she made it through that night
which she now calls a blessing,
she had vowed to change with no second guessing,
and before she fell asleep that night
she thanked The Kingdom for the light.

Her beating heart inside her chest will blossom forever more,
the nightingale who's wings were healed can now finally soar.

That's what I found.