Helpless

Nothing in front,
and nothing good in the back.
Only a fool says life is fair.

I know the value of having hope,
but that doesn't do much right now.
My mind feels like it's drowning,
and my eyes want to stream out tears.
Still, I want to be strong enough to
not say "Why Me?"—
though I feel it on the tip of my tongue—
and lose myself in misery,
but the pain hurts
with the haunting, terrorizing memories
of the past it brings,
and it's as if there's nothing I can do to banish them.

Misery is not my friend,
but it sure comes around often.
The world is spinning way too fast;
I'm dizzy and frazzled.
But how do you fight the truth?
I feel what my mind is telling me is true,
but I'm not sure.
I know most of the negative things we think
are never really true, but even if it isn't
there's very little that would change.
Someone pulled a switch on my mind
and then broke the "off" lever;
it's stuck on depressed.
But hey,
we all wake up on the wrong side of the bed at times;
I just wished I had control though,
and didn't feel like a robot right now.