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:iconangelichope: More from angelichope


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Submitted on
June 3, 2012
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287
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20 (who?)
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15
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She is Spring's first bloom;
She fills any dried out river
with her smile;
She is every wish made on a shooting star.
You can't help but feel your heart
in your chest in the presence of her.
She'll take your gray and make a rainbow.
Her delicate hands will always touch you
with every ounce of her love,
and bring out your ever fair orchid
hidden within.
A kiss from her gives you wings
to fly from your troubles,
and fly above the clouds when they
cover the moon.
You've never seen a rose
like the one in her hands.
You've seen beauty, but never
felt it like the one from her soul.
Has anyone ever explored the worlds
in her eyes?
She'd gladly let you in.
For her, the sky rains love;
the oceans of stars ignite,
and hate collapses.
At the start of your pain;
when you even think about abandoning
hope, you'll see her shining in the sun,
while honesty blows her hair.
Well here it is. Once again I miss comments and faves, so I submitted this even though I should have worked on it more, but maybe I'll some editing later, idk. Btw, "She" in this poem isn't based on anyone.
Enjoy and please comment!:heart:
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:iconscribblingnooly:
scribblingnooly Jun 30, 2012  Professional
You have some great lines there! "She fills any dried out river/with her smile;", "She'll take your gray and make a rainbow.".."Has anyone ever explored the worlds in her eyes?". The theme is strong and is maintained beautifully throughout the poem. You said yourself, you might work on it a but more; If anything needs changing it is only, possibly, a look at line length and rhythm, just to tidy it a little. Otherwise, it has an innate energy and beauty that works well. :-)
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:iconangelichope:
Thank you for your comment and advice!:heart: It's really great you taking the time to give me such a good and helpful comment!:love: and I'm glad you like those lines!!!:hug:
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:iconscribblingnooly:
scribblingnooly Jul 1, 2012  Professional
You're welcome :-)
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:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow that's beautiful :heart:
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:iconangelichope:
Thank you!:heart:
And thank you for the fave as well!:wave:
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:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Jun 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome!
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:iconmichaelestra:
Michaelestra Jun 27, 2012
Ooh - Lovely. Makes me think of Mother Nature :)
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:iconangelichope:
Yeah, I kinda see that too, now that I think about it!!
Thank you for the fave as well!:hug:
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:iconmichaelestra:
Michaelestra Jun 29, 2012
Anytime :)
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:iconmrs-freestar-bul:
Mrs-Freestar-Bul Jun 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is very beautiful my dear. Full of wonderful images and metaphors. Great job :clap:
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